I'm still debating whether or not to publish the group picture I took of my class on our field trip to the Gaines County Heritage Hall Museum. I can't decide if it is unethical to post it. After all, I didn't tell them to say cheese because I needed fodder for my blog. Thoughts?
Anyway, if you are craving any Mennonite hijinks, read below:
Morning Shenanigans: Margie, our Amelia Bedilia-like house cleaner, is forever breaking things and hiding them for us to discover, sometimes years after the fact. She is getting quite better, though. Friday, she broke a porcelain baby doll that belonged to my mom's mother, one of the only things my mom has of her mother's. Showing progress, she marched into the kitchen and fessed up immediately. There was little remorse, though. Margie seems to possess no love of priceless and highly breakable antiques that serve no function but to litter up cabinets she must dust. It is hard to be mad at her, though. Only an hour later she was sending her fifth text message of the morning to a man who obviously has no interest in her. She then elicited my advice concerning matters of the heart in a most plaintive and heartbreaking manner. My favorite bit of the conversation was when she called the He-Mennonite in question "a player" in very broken English. It was like hearing an Italian nun say "WTF."
Afternoon Shenanigans: John, one of my dad's farming employees, decided that despite the presence of a county-wide burn ban and 40 mph winds, he would dispose of excess cotton seed sacks by lighting them on fire. The result? Starting an impressive blaze that engulfed most of one of my dad's farms. Thankfully, the baby crops have yet to push their way up from 'neath the soil and the only thing scorched was John's ego and some dead weeds. The fire and sheriff's departments did come, though, and they issued him a pretty hefty fine. I was so hoping that the incident would make it onto the front page of our town's newspaper; such incidents usually do. Then both my parents could have made it onto the front page of the Sentinel for various disasters and infractions. Mom made it in 2006 for her car accident in the Wal-Mart parking lot. There was only a picture published--her mangled car--but the headline was worth a thousand words: "Cleaning up the Mess." There's still hope for my dad, though. They could be saving the story for the Wednesday edition. Cross your fingers!
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3 comments:
LMAO re: Margie. The mental image is just too much. And I *swear* to you the following is a true story: when I was a kid, my grandfather would set his front lawn on fire EVERY SUMMER. He believed in his soul that if he did that, it would come back greener than Palmolive the following spring. We would have a huge family party and grill steaks and burgers every year and watch him do this, I swear to Jesus!
Sounds like a 3:00 burning gone awry! Anti-phi and Flat Kareem should show him how it's really done.
i had no idea that the matthews estate had such a multitude of servants running around! Do they sing "let's go to the movies!" everytime y'all head out for an evening show or "we've got benny!" when you returned home?? because that would make life in seminole AMAZING!
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